You've seen the trilogy in just about every major book store, library, shopping center, gas station, bedside table and bathroom all over the country. What's the deal? Well, curiosity got the better of me and I was dumb enough to purchase a copy. (And even dumber to read it.)
It's been some time since I've read a book that stirred up such emotion. And when I say "emotion" I mean ANGER. Grrrr.
For those of you that have not read the books, allow me to provide you with the Cliff Notes version of the first book in the trilogy, "Fifty Shades of Grey":
Enter the main character, young Anastasia Steele who meets 27 year old billionaire Christian Grey. (Yes, you read correct. Billionaire.) Ana and Christian begin a romantic relationship that quickly turns freaky-deeky. And by that I mean Christian is as the book refers, a "Dominant" and Ana serves as his "Sub". (Check out Urban Dictionary for a detailed definition.)
Ana is extremely naive when it comes to sex and as her relationship with Christian evolves, she finds herself pushing the limits as to what she feels is acceptable and unacceptable. Delving deeper into the book we learn Christian has had a very troubled, violent childhood. However, Ana seems to be the key to his happiness and encourages him to confront his demons. Blah, blah, blah and on, and on this unconventional "fairy tale" drags on.
Now, let's discuss.
Rant #1
First off the writing is absolute shit. The author over uses words such as, "she whispered", "she murmured", "she bit her lip", "she looked up at him through her eyelashes". I could go on and on but let me spare you the frustration.
Rant #2
Ladies, this man (Christian Grey) DOES NOT EXIST! (Notice the shouty words and bold text?) My anger really starts to bubble when I think of women reading this crap and believing they will find a man out there waiting to shower them with unending compliments, sex, expensive cell phones, laptops, clothes and cars. Let alone put up with Ana's constant nagging questions. Get real.
Rant #3
This is the first "erotic" novel I have ever read, but good grief some of these sex scenes are not only overdone to the point of boring but some are just plain disgusting. (Example: Bathroom scene on page 430. No, I'm not going to go into detail.) Some things should just be left alone. Ick!
Rant #4
I loathe the fact that Anastasia has zero self confidence. Throughout the book she finds herself compromising in situations she really wants nothing to do with for fear of loosing this guy. In my opinion she needs to grow a pair and start speaking up.
Rant #5
This guy obviously has issues. And I think a lot of women out there have the "I want to fix you gene". Hey, I've been guilty of it too. However, it doesn't work that way. Ana is getting dragged down into the muck trying to "fix" this man who has deep seeded issues. You CAN'T have a balanced, healthy relationship when one partner is struggling with his/her own problems.
Rant #6
And what is up with Christian's control issues? Um, hello. RED FLAG! I understand he is "dominant" in the bedroom and yes he has issues, but this girl can't have a telephone conversation with a guy friend without getting the stink eye from Christian. Ensue argument. These characters are exhausting.
For some of you out there this may have been a fun read. Sure. I get that. But do you think this author is spreading some very unattainable messages that are impossible to meet?
If you think about it, this author is making millions of dollars off of these books. And they are AWFUL. As I've said before this book really chafed me the wrong way, then again, if I think about, I'm still squawking about these books...Maybe the author knows what she is doing after all.
Ugh. Gag me. No pun intended.
